Michelangelo - The Poet

I didn't always enjoy learning about history at school. However, I do love art, and when I learn about history through art, making connections between historical figures or events through art or poetry, it fascinates me. Having read some of Michelangelo's poetry in his book "The Complete Poems of Michelangelo", and also being a great fan of Michelangelo's artistic portrayals of the human body, as well as the detailed attention to fabric by Leonardo da Vinci, I was intrigued to find a book entitled "The Lost Battles" by Jonathan Jones, whilst browsing through the National Gallery shop on a recent trip through London. It details the bitter feuds between the two artists during Renaissance Italy. Interestingly it describes how Raphael, a rival painter to Michelangelo, painted Michaelangelo amongst the characters found in the wall painting entitled: "The School of Athens":

"Raphael wittingly included Michelangelo in his mural, brooding massively, leaning his head on his hand whilst he scribbled poetry on a sheet placed on the stone block beside him. His face is downcast in introspection beneath his unkempt black hair."

And here is the painting. A glimpse into the life of the poet at work! See if you can spot Michelangelo in the painting.

A New Beginning

I cannot express how much I have valued and appreciated the last week that I spent at the Penhurst Retreat Centre in Battle, East Sussex. Such a beautiful and peaceful place where you can escape from the world and REST. I met some wonderful people too. Lots of love to you all in your new beginnings! Thank you also to Richard and Storm, and all the other staff at Penhurst Retreat Centre.

Well hello Mr Bee!
(Or another of He)
How honoured am I
To see you buzz by
Doing your daily rounds.

I don’t know why you are here,
There are no flowers near.
Oh but look, there is just one - no two!
Ah ha! A whole field for you!
So in fact your wisdom is sound.

(Penhurst Retreat Centre Orchard
13 Apr 2011)

(Copyright EH 2011.
All Rights Reserved)


The retreat entitled "A New Beginning" was led by Jen Rees Larcombe, author of the book "A Year's Journey With God" and many others.

World Book Night 5th March 2011

I'd only been to one poetry reading session before, back during Book Day 2009, and that was filled with secondary aged students eating their lunch with crumbs dropping into their laps as they eagerly listened to the next poem to be read. A kind audience. I braved reading one of my own poems at that one too. This time, however, on World Book Night 2011 the audience was comprised of seasoned poetry lovers, cooing with excited appreciation for the next "Betjeman" or "Keats". I discovered "Diary of a Church Mouse" to be rather entertaining when read with the voice with which it was intended. I also discovered that my knowledge of our poetry heritage was dire. (I need to either read up, or learn to nod or coo in the right places.) The local Book Night organiser, whose focus on poetry readings was responsible for enticing me in, via a good friend's invitation, read her selected poems like a stage actress whose pronunciation of vowels were all simply perfect (a history of elocution lessons it transpired). She put her heart and soul into each reading, not thinking for a moment to feel subconcious of the onlooking audience. She read with her whole body emphasising the roll of the poem's rhythm. I looked on in awe wondering if I had the same sounds when I spoke or if my lack of elocution would betray me. I jumped in when the chance came to read my poem with an announcement that I was offering "one of my own". (It's a hard job to follow Keats but someone's got to do it). I stayed safe with the first one "The Peace of 6.a.m. on a Sunday". Then later, once others had the chance to read too, I offered two more to give them some air, (there is no point in writing 479ish poems just to leave them gathering electronic dust on my hard drive): "For She Who Hates Herself Not to Eat" and "The Cycle that Turns", both based on my observations of young people during my time either as a teacher in a secondary girls school or as a volunteer youth worker. I had some good feedback and was encouraged to keep writing. This was a good day in my journey into the sub-world of poetry readings.

Poetry - Intellectual vs Soulful

I have been submitting a few of my poems to a special interest magazine that I subscribe to and whilst having received some kind comments, my latest submissions were critiqued negatively/constructively by another longstanding, and respected member. Proof that poetry is subjective by nature. I had, in previous editions, opened up the debate as to whether one needed change their own poetry based on another persons comments. Not for not wanting to change it out of stubborness, but due to not understanding why one would want to change what one's soul has already said. (Did my soul lie at the time of writing? Can your soul lie?) I was reminded that the format of the magazine was a workshop and therefore people presented their poems in order for them to be critiqued and improved. The same member who kindly reminded me of this also admitted to not trusting their soul as I seem to do mine (her words, paraphrased).

So there it is in a nut shell. Some people write intellectually, whether the content be about emotions or otherwise, and try to improve the poems for the enjoyment and approval of others, whilst others write automatically and cherish the communication that the poem as brought out from the soul. In my case I am the latter, and whilst I have appreciated the comments given on my poems thus far, I challenge the former to recognise the latter as a valid use of poetry and expression. (Call me a rebel but who cares about "an unnecessary use of rhyme" versus "simple refrain" when the journey of the soul is the goal) - oh man! An unintented rhyme to end on...

Poetry & Art

Inspiration has hit! I have been wondering for a while now how to turn some of my poetry into art to display on my walls at home instead of buying the usual high street chain wall art that is on offer which ends up being, whilst pretty at times, a visual image taking up my living space that has nothing to do with my background, experience or journey. Nothing to do with who I am. So I started searching for links to poetry and art and found a photographer's work on Flickr who had put quotes into a scrap book as a present for a friend. I shall have a go at something artistic and post it when done!

Here it is! Finally an update November 2010. I created this drawing to compliment a poem recently written (in the lower middle of image) and as a way to get into a prayerful mood as, often, my mind races too much to concentrate. I hope to do more soon...

Book Week 2009

Book Week 2009 at the school where I work was once again alive with book character dressing up days, favourite book videos and an air of enjoyment by teachers and pupils alike. I dared to take part in the poetry readings meeting, albeit sticking to a relatively "safe" poem - no pupil likes to see a teacher cry after all!


The Peace of 6 a.m. on a Sunday

The peace of 6 a.m. on a Sunday.
A bird is singing in the trees.
It’s his wake up call to one and all,
He says “Join me if you please”

Join me in this new day,
But there is no work to be done,
Because Sunday’s here, it’s a day to revere
Let’s praise the Lord it’s come.

I shall sing here from the tree tops,
I shall sing here all day long.
For I love the peace of a Sunday,
But it’s the morning that fuels my song

It’s at 6 a.m. on a Sunday
That I choose to start my song.
The rest of the day other sounds start to play
So in the peace is where I belong.

My song sings out in the silence,
For nothing else do I hear.
Wake up now, it’s time to get up
With my song I draw you near.

Wake up from your sleepy slumber.
Cast the dreams aside for reality,
But if you cannot yet bear to be aware
Then relax and listen to me.

The peace of 6 a.m. on a Sunday,
There’s a shrill sound in the trees.
I thank the Lord for putting him there,
The bird wakes me up with ease.

I turn over under my duvet,
I curl up in a ball.
There’s a warmth in there from which I choose not to tear,
But I thank God for that bird so small.

Copyright EH 2008. All Rights reserved.

Your Love for Me

This poem came out of a worship evening at church where my mind was going over all that God has done for me over the past two years or so. This one is for Him.


Your Love for Me

I dance, you lead,
You provide when I need.

Your love is astounding,
Amazing is your grace.

You stand when I fall,
I return nothing, you give your all.

When I cry, you weep,
You give me love - to keep.

You are a rock when I am frail,
I sink, you provide the sail.

Your love is astounding,
Amazing is your grace,

That I dare to look
Upon your face,

And the eyes that have love
For me.

Copyright EH 2009. All rights reserved.

I've Found Them!

Oh JOY! I have found my poems! Praise God for small mercies for I have found my gold again... I'm too embarrassed to admit that it was under my bed all along. Apart from feeling silly about where they were, I can't express how relieved I am that they were not lost on a street somewhere in someone else's hands. Next step is type them up and back them up!

La Poésie C'est...

For the francophones out there, here are some notes on Poetry that I found in a French text book lying on the staff room table in France during a French exchange. It presents definitions of poetry from the mouths of famous French poets themselves:

La Poésie C’est…

…un pur don céleste (Du Bartas)
…faire une perle d’une larme (Musset)
…donner à voir (Eluard)
…de la musique avant toute chose (Verlaine)
…une grappe d’images (Bachelard)
…l’art d’évoquer les minutes heureuses (Baudelaire)
…une imitation et une peinture (Fénelon)
…comme des lunettes. C’est pour mieux voir… (Siméon)
…tout ce qu’il y a d’intime dans tout (Hugo)
…les mots qui disent le monde et qui disent l’homme (Eluard)


The fact that the definitions are written in French makes them seem to me like poetry themselves. "...to make a pearl from a tear (Musset)" reminds me of the Psalm writers of the bible and how God can change our dark clouds to sunshine if we just stick with him through any trial (see Blog entry 17 January 2009)

Gold has less value

I'm gutted. I've lost a note book of poems. You only realise the true personal value of things when they are gone.

Being wiped out from work has prevented me from keeping up to date electronic records of my poems or updating this blog in recent months. However, fortunately, I had typed up in full the key ones from the 30 or so that were in the book. Nevertheless, having also typed up the titles of those that I didn't have time to type out in full simply means that I know what I have lost. A few poems never made it to my electronic records in any shape or form at all so will be lost completely. It's a lesson in learning to let things go if anything.

Note to self: type poems up regularly in future and back up at all times!

I'll re post if the book turns up - bright pink cover with white swirls and an orange number "5" sticker if anyone who knows me happens to find it.

From Clouds to Rain

The sermon I listened to last Sunday (6.30 pm, 11 Jan 2009) was about how God provides us with the grace that we need when we need it. In other words it is not in our own strength that we make it through our trials but, in allowing ourselves to lean on Him, God's power becomes perfect in our weakness (2 Cor 12: 7-10). He won't necessarily lift us out of our troubles but will be with us through them, often using the troubles themselves to transform us into the people he wants us to be (Hosea 2: 14-15).

Below is a poem that I wrote when I was watching some dark clouds in the sky, which were symbolic at the time, and realised that if we can just bear to sit still (it's a rocky road at times!) and take what comes our way we will become stronger as we are sustained by God's love for us. In fact the bigger the clouds the more God pours out his love and grace to us! By working through it we emerge triumphant the other end. The context in which I wrote it may be different from yours now, but the rain still falls from the clouds, whatever the context. So for those who need encouragement...

From Clouds to Rain

I love it when the pictures you give me
Come alive and true.
For here I am with stretched open arms
Singing my praise to you.

It’s raining outside,
There are clouds above,
But peace they bring
Like your willing dove.

For the darker the clouds,
The heavier the rain
To cleanse me with
Your love again.

I shall rejoice when I see them,
The dark clouds in the sky,
For although trouble comes
Your love shall also pass by,

To visit me
And sustain me within,
To shine a light
On any remaining sin,

To cleanse me of dirt,
To make me as white as snow,
To come again and again,
This truth I now know.

So come on then dark clouds,
Do your greatest will.
For triumph will follow
If I have the courage to sit still.

Copyright EH 2007. All Rights Reserved.

The Word Power Buzz

I love writing poetry. Writing poetry for me provides a medium for the expression of my soul. Like an artist might express himself through paint and colours, I do so through words (as much as I would love to have the gift of painting too!). It is such satisfying way to vent the soul's angst in life, or praise of good things.

So to be able to read the poetry of others is something that I find exciting as it provides a window into someone else's soul. There is a certain fellowship to be found in that. Here is a poem that I recently found on a friend's blog:

http://kevburgess.blogspot.com/2008/12/honest-prayer.html.

Reading other people's work also gives me a fresh appreciation of poetry from the reader's point of view. Whilst some of the ones I write can still make me smile or move me to tears on a further reading, to read someone else's poetry provides a fresh appreciation as to the power of words, so simple yet powerful when brought together to form one message.

I encourage anyone who has not tried it yet to do so.

Time Out...

Having just returned from a day at the Clothed With Joy women's conference at St.Barnabas Church, north London I feel like I've had a breath of fresh air blown into my life again. These kind of days are so important to put aside time for in order to recharge batteries, reassess your direction and to be reminded, again, of how much we are loved by God, just as we are!

The women speakers were bold with their honesty, (thank you to Helen Shannon), and the worship was true to how wonderful, amazing and fabulous God is on so many levels (reliable, strong, forgiving, accepting... and endlessly loving). I was especially taken by the song that Jo Dore wrote especially for the event. Its words were so simple, yet together were so moving and true. The beautiful melody that accompanied these words created a worship song that was a delight to sing.

Carrie Grant (Fame Academy, CBeebies, "Carrie and David's Popshop!"), was again honest in her singing. It was a gift so humbly presented to deliver God's loving face in times of great struggle. The words "I'm falling..." comforted by the following song's image of God carrying us was powerful. Thank you for sharing.

So as well as the lyrics spoken of above, where did my love of words and communicating come in? Helen Shannon spoke of the power of words. Those that hurt and those that are spoken by God (when He speaks - change happens!). Anne Coles spoke of women's intuition and choosing the right moment to deliver the right words, and finally I am so grateful to Jo Dore for hosting the "Writing a Psalm" workshop. It was so exciting to listen to someone deliver their research into the various Psalms, exposing an enthusiasm akin to my own! However her research also took her into how Psalms are written. I've never looked at writing poetry or Psalms with a particular framework in mind before, and have often avoided doing so, so not to "box" my creativity as such. However I arrived at the workshop with anticipation and excitement at having the chance to do what I love most - communicate with God, and give him the time and space to communicate with me, either via words or pictures in my mind. The workshop was an interesting and effective one in that people who had never written a Psalm or poetry before were given the space, time and know-how needed to create a Psalm which communicated their own lament or worship to God. The women present were so brave and honest in sharing what they had created and it was an honour to hear their words.

I won't post the Psalm that I wrote in the workshop here for the moment (it is a long one!), however here is a poem that I wrote later in the day based on the same picture that came to my mind during the prayer at the beginning of the workshop (thank you Jo for providing the space which allowed God to give it to me):

Your face that I draw
On this page with these words
Comes to me in my mind
As they flow to me in herds.

It is your face that I see
As I write on this page.
Your colours of brown and gold
So clear, without haze.

Do my words do you justice?
Are my words to you true?
True to all the glory
That I see in you?

For I hope that they do
As I sit here with you,
As you absorb the pain
That I see is true.

True to this world
That exists
Without knowledge
Of you.

Copyright EH 2008. All rights reserved.

The Shack, William P. Young

This entry isn't about my poetry and my love of communicating what I see or feel with words, but having found words from another source that planted mental pictures filled with emotion, beauty and power into my mind, I wanted to share my appreciation for "The Shack"...

http://www.theshackbook.com/

Rarely do I read a book that touches my heart and gives me clarity about life (the Bible aside) and acknowledgement of things I've been through (there is something in it for everyone). Rarely do I read a book which allows me to look back and understand why... Rarely do I read a book that answers such big questions (some I need to re-read!). Rarely do I find a book that I cannot put down because I loose myself in the world that it invites me to step into (the last one was The Life of Pi, Yann Martel). Rarely do I get the time to read books, to be fair, (I can't usually sit still long enough...) but it is books of this quality that renew my motivation to pick up another one. Rarely do I read a book that makes me cry (my carpet is a sodden tissue graveyard). Rarely do I read a book that describes scenes of such beauty (I won't spoil which ones...).

Whilst I am not for or against the theology behind the book, (I am still digesting its contents), I do recommend it as well worth reading.

Now the divisive question is: is this book purely fiction or another of the multitude of ways with which God can communicate with us?

Creative Worship Workshop - TBC Youth Camp 2008

Unmistakenly this was another hard working youth camp. However, I never regret for one moment going and being part of the team. Things were sent to try us, yet we overcame all the obstacles and it was an honour to witness the faith of the young people grow on many levels.

I had the great pleasure of leading the creative worship workshops where the youth were encouraged to be creative in their means of communication with God, and to experiment with new ways of communicating be it art, music, prose or poetry. See below for examples of painting and photos from the workshop. Art created in these sessions was used as background to the song lyrics whilst the young people led us in worship. It was a good opportunity to show their work and it was inspiring to see young people finding expressive ways to communicate with God.



I was also honoured during one of the workshops that two of our many musically creative youth put music to my poem entitled "Eternal and Faithful". Another member of our youth wrote a poem, as well as creating art, which, with his kind permission, I include below:

The Rise and Fall

Lord I have given you my heart
You have taken me into your presence
I have been welcomed into your temple
You show me true love and mercy
I’m so happy that you are with me
I’m in awe of you
But then you make me look outside of your temple
And it is so ugly, full of pain and suffering.
I want to look away but I don’t want to disappoint you.
You take me by the arm and you lead me to the temple door.
You ask me to leave
You ask me to change the ugly world
You ask me to do the impossible
Lord how can I change people who don’t want to change?
Lord how can I love people who don’t want to be loved?

And my Lord answers:

“Because you have me”

Some feedback from the workshop itself:

"I liked the fact that there was freedom to do what you wanted. I enjoyed being able to look through the different versions of the bible and reading some of the poems."

"I liked the fact that there were no people grading my work, like in school."

"Awesome. It helps show there are a lot more ways to worship God."

"It was brilliant. God really spoke to me and touched me and answered my prayers."

"I enjoyed the freedom to do what I wanted (paint, draw, write, soak, pray) and really experience praising God in new and exciting ways."


All in all I loved being part of such a dynamic week where we were able to draw alongside the youth, discuss their life of faith, encourage their worship and to see them grow.

Mission Matters - We're back!

Namaste!

I have just spent two weeks with a youth mission team in Dwarka, SW Delhi, India, working with the women's empowerment and children's education projects at Anusaran. I have returned with a fresh insight into how those who put God first and themselves second can achieve great things. It has been inspiring to learn how John and Abha David gave up their corporate lives and household with swimming pool to invest in two schools, both in slum / poor areas in the outskirts of Delhi. It is also inspiring to see the opportunities for not only education, but also community, love and respect that they themselves and their projects offer. I can't help wondering what a poorer place in social and spiritual terms that these areas would be without them.

The City School, where their Grace Bible Church is also based, has been running now for four years, with BMS action teams working alongside John and Abha David from October - March each year, with other smaller length teams participating in between.

The Village School has been running for one year in more challenging conditions. Monsoon floods block the entrance to the school on both sides. Whilst safe paths can be found on stepping stone bricks and surrounding muddy edges, these are slippery and we witnessed children simply wading through the mosquito covered water pools to get to the other side.

Power Cuts create hot and sticky conditions in both schools but these were overcome with a "getting on with it" attitude. Studying continued as if the temperature had not changed, motivated by the desire to learn, and dancing continued, albeit with a few more beads of sweat than there previously have been. (It was reassuring for us ill accustomed westerners to see the well accustomed locals also showing signs of physical strain under the heat!).

I have a lot to learn from the poorer nations and their faith. Whilst they rely on God for everything and see Him in every good thing, to which they offer Him praise and thanks, I have a tendency to fall into the trap of fitting Him into my schedule, and often not relying on Him until I see a need. My relatively easy material life and busy schedule seems to become an obstacle to walking with Him. How then is my faith in God to grow? Perhaps it is for this reason that James 2 verse 5 states:

"Listen, my dear brothers: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him?

However, in Hebrews 13:5 we are offered guidance in our path towards greater faith:

"Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." "

So, did I paint with words in all the hustle and bustle of our schedule in India? Just a few simple ones. Below is one I wrote during a Sunday morning service at the Grace Bible Church:


No Complaints

You are dripping with sweat,
Yet you pack in tighter.

You sing out of tune,
Yet you sing out louder.

You don't know the song,
Yet you clap with more fervour.

You know not how to complain,
Or to bring dissatisfaction again
By letter.

You just look to God
And praise His name,

Bringing prayers of thanks
That your water
Is cleaner.

Copyright EH 2008. All rights reserved.

Two weeks on...

Life's been a blur since the "Be Transformed" women's day, but memories of God's words to me on that day are still strong in my mind. How nice it was to get the space to listen (for that I thank the organising team!). It reminds me of a line from one of my poems: "...Oh how I love it when you speak to me."

It was such an honour too, to deliver a workshop and to use my poems to highlight how what we have to say to God is important to Him. He is listening to each and every one of us. Some of the women wrote poems, some drew, and other simply read and took the time to reflect.

Some comments from those who attended:

"It was really inspiring and encouraging. I will definitely give it a try. Letting things out in such a potentially beautiful way is very exciting."

"It was good to hear of someone else's way of communicating with God and to hear of the good and not so good times..."

"Creative atmosphere and freedom. Inspiring resources. Your honesty like a fragrant offering before God. Thanks"

"A sense of opportunity to search for new areas of contact with God...Thank you."

"Having the opportunity to express myself in a way that I haven't before. Thank you!"

"Enjoyed the space to do some writing and Esther's enthusiasm and honesty reminded me we have different gifts."

Two weeks on and I have had the chance to repeat the workshop at The Well women's group at Tonbridge Baptist Church. Thank you to my friends, old and new alike, for allowing me the opportunity to share my experiences with you in this way, and for sharing with me how this has helped / inspired you. I feel truly blessed.

Painting With Words

Using the written word to communicate with God and to express the images He presents us with.

There are many ways that God can communicate with us, and we with Him. Mine’s poetry – what’s yours?

I'll be leading a workshop at "Be Transformed" - a women's conference at St John's Church, Tunbridge Wells, 28th June 2008. Follow the link on http://www.tbc-online.org.uk/.

Conference Workshop Summary:
After a brief talk about my experience of using the written word to both hear from and communicate with God, this workshop will then allow time and space for you to enjoy your current means of expression, be it poetry, prayer, drawing, listening,… alongside the opportunity to experience and / or experiment with others at various themed stations. Simply express yourself as you choose, or enjoy other people’s creativity.

Time will be allowed to share experiences both before and after a creative soaking session. However there will be no obligation to write any poetry or to produce anything at all. Just come and enjoy communicating with God in any way you choose!

Conference attendees, whether attending this workshop or not, are invited to take part in the poll: “How do YOU communicate with God?" prior to the conference. To access the poll see above right on this page.